well, it had to happen eventually.
today is the day of reckoning for all other candy. one candy had to be the most best, logically, and today, i'll be reviewing that candy. there are a lot of contenders for the top spot, but one candy has to be the reigning champion, and that candy is Miniature Reese's.
these things are so rad you guys. now, i'm going to get out ahead of this, and say, yes, i did mean MINIATURE reese's. not the original, not the easter eggs, not the big cups, not the fast breaks, and not even the nutrageous. miniature reese's. search your feelings; you know it to be true. miniature reese's are the desert island candy: if you were stuck on a desert island, this is what you would want that island to be made of.
enough can be said about the flavor profile; when it comes to candy, chocolate and peanut butter is about as classic of a pairing as you can get. when a body enters the early stages of starvation, this is what one craves, and for good reason: it's rad. now, i don't want any of you to try this at home, but trust me on this; i've seen enough episodes of survivor to know that people like chocolate and peanut butter. but what sets these apart? there are plenty of offerings in this niche. reese's competes with itself for shelf space, and Nabisco and Mars both have friendly rivalries with the candy empire, accounting for Butterfinger and M&Ms, respectively. i mean, as has already been demonstrated, Peanut Butter M&Ms are authoritatively "yeah, hype."
Miniature Reese's, though, are on a different level entirely. it's a different echelon of candy. they transcend their product family and approach a higher state of logic. they are the platonic ideal of candy, and they represent and signify a philosophical axiom of flavor and composition. where to even begin?
well, they're all individually wrapped. this is important to both their style and substance; in form and in function, miniature reese's are carefully crafted. from a utilitarian point of view, the wrappings ensure freshness and a level of sterility, but from an aesthetic perspective, the wrapping sustains a ritual; mindless gluttony is subverted entirely, because each individual candy must be unwrapped before eating. the care and respect forced onto this delicate candy carries over to the subject; each candy must be savored by design. the foil wrapper is complimented by the waxy paper wrapping underneath the cup, a staple of every size of reese's.
the smaller the cup, the larger the ratio of chocolate to peanut butter, for mostly structural reasons. this ratio is fine in the original size, but there ends up being an obnoxious overkill of peanut butter in the big cups. the chocolate really gets a chance to shine in the miniature reese's, however, and the balance is pristine if not perfect. the smaller size makes it that much easier to portion; be it for a single post-meal dessert, or as a handful for a midday (or midnight) snack. with any other variety of reese's, you're locked in. you only feel like eating one-and-a-half cups? TOO BAD, YOU GOT TWO OR FOUR. not the case with miniature reeses; another fringe benefit of the individual wrapping.
not too much to actually say about the taste. everyone knows what these are like. they're not the rarest or most exotic candy, and they've been around for decades, but they're the best, full stop. did i mention they're the cheapest type of reese's by volume? i guess rad things do come in small packages.
i give it 98 radicals out of 100, and 3 hype out of 5, making it "yeah, hype"
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