SweeTARTS Sour Gummies

What is reality? Is it the external cacophony of processes, forces, and energies? Is it the cross-modal sensory model that our brains produce to make sense of that noise? Does reality lie somewhere in the gulf between these two shores, where platonic ideals meet gritty inconsistency?

Most candies don't even try to answer these questions. Most candies make us feel safe, make us feel important, make us feel... at peace. Most candies are too cowardly to stare into the abyss... but not SweeTARTS.

SweeTARTS Sour Gummies are a study in form; the hyper-realistic gummy shapes challenge our notions of what gummies should be. Just an incomplete list of this variety can induce existential dread: celestial (cartoon sun, crescent moon, lightning bolt), musical (beamed eighth notes, acoustic guitar), aquatic (hyper-realistic fish, starfish), scientific (beaker, rocket), innocent (teddy bear, gingerbread man), modern (chat bubble, octothorpe), and even three types of footwear (flip-flop, sneaker, and boot). Combine this with the random nature of which shapes are paired with which flavors in which combinations, you are left with a countably infinite set of possible bags. This infinite variety paired with the relative consistency of each individual unit create a sort of vertigo if thought about for too long 

But do they taste good? Now, you know they wouldn't be here if they didn't. While I marvel at the construction and implementation of what must be the greatest leap in gummy shape technology in history, the function must stand up to these heights to succeed, and, remarkably, they do. They aren't as sour as one would imagine based on the name, but I haven't compared them to the non-sour line so perhaps that name is earned. The primary note, as it is in SweeTARTS proper, is tartness. While it is more of a bright, citrus tarness than a more acerbic, chemical flavor, rest assured, it is tart. Doing justice to the name and to the namesake, SweeTARTS Sour Gummies capture the SweeTARTS experience in gummy form, and that's all you can ask of them.

i give it 87 radicals out of 100, and 5 hype out of 5, making it "legit hyphy"